Talking About A Wedding

By Thomas J. Kelly

I saw a buddy after he came back from his honeymoon. All his wife could talk about was their wedding. The reception was three hours long. Her play by play recounting of the evening lasted five.

It is an affliction that cripples newlywed women every year. They realize their dream wedding is over and they have nothing left to look forward to in life. Subsequently, they keep talking about their wedding day over and over until someone ends up shooting themselves.

(The only known cure for this is for the former bride to have a baby.)
The only way to get someone to stop talking about their wedding is to mention a better one. Want to get the blushing newlyweds to change the subject without being rude? Talk about the Dorfman wedding.

You went to the Dorfman wedding about 2 years ago. It was the best wedding you've ever been to in your life. Rick and Miranda Dorfman are "old buddies" who "you don't get to see too often." That's why you don't talk about them much.

Every time your friend's new wife talks about her wedding, quickly mention something about the Dorfman's wedding.

If the topic is flowers; quickly mention how the Dorfmans had the nicest flowers you've ever seen. Then go into detail. Rick Dorfman's brother is a Botanist who genetically engineered the flowers for the wedding.

If the topic is Bridesmaids. Mention that Miranda Dorfman had the hottest bridesmaids. Plus, the bridesmaids were all single and loose. Even the groom's grandfather hooked up with a bridesmaid.

What if you get trapped looking at the dreaded wedding video? Mention how Rick Dorfman's cousin, the MTV Producer, did their video for free. In fact, the video had a special foreword by Carson Daily.

The "Dorfman Technique" is a proven method. Share the technique with a few of your single friends. With enough training, the next time someone asks your newlywed friends about their wedding day . . . they'll just pretend they eloped.
[Mail to a friend]

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