White Tuxedoes

Why Men Aren't Allowed To Make Decisions At Weddings

Last month asked whether or not this man, Justin Calabrese was:

A) A Waiter
B) A Valet Parker
C) A Groomsman
D) A Devoted BoyzIIMen Fan

While Justin is in fact, a devoted Boy z 2 Men fan, in this particular picture he is a Groomsman.

Justin was honored when his sister Jamie's then fiance Sean asked him to be one of his groomsmen. Unfortunately Sean's fashion choices weren't as flattering.

For the record, this wedding did in fact take place in the Summer of 2005.

Jamie and Sean's wedding marked the first time in recorded history that the groomsmen looked exponentially worse than the bridesmaids. In fact, it would have been less humiliating for the groomsmen if they were asked to wear bridesmaid dresses.

It's guys like Sean that turn women into obsessive half-woman half-bride creatures. Every woman has heard a story about a bride who let their groom pick the tuxedoes which then turned into a technicolor nightmare.

I thought the tuxes for the groomsmen were bad. Then I saw the groom was wearing white! Look at him. He looks like he should be serving drinks on the Love Boat.

While we're at it, he looks like he's a little old to be wearing white on his wedding day. I have a feeling that this guy has a few stories from the 80's that would preclude him from wearing white underwear.

I had fun drinking with Sean at Justin's wedding. As a man who had fun drinking with the guy I can say that black may be too close to white for this guy.

Sean strikes me as a guy who auditioned for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy but got rejected because the producers felt there was no hope for him.

Guys, for your own sake, when picking a tuxedo go black and simple and match what the bridesmaids are wearing. That's all you have to do. Otherwise, your wife will be picking all of your clothing from head to toe (including socks) for you . . . for the rest of your life.

See Also: Why Grooms Shouldn't Wear White Tuxes

Here are the best answers from last month's contest:

Justin A. Calabrese definitely looks like the ladies man in that get upI would say that the answer is C) Devoted BoyzIIMen fan?????? -

My answer is D - A Devoted BoyzIIMen Fan -

Choice C. He is a very lame groomsman -

I think he is a groomsman.... 1st, he looks to be in the groom's house.... and 2nd, he is using sign language to tell the groom exactly where he is going after the wedding.... TO HELL!! LOL - Mike S. -

C. A groomsman. Why you ask? Because only a groom would do that to his boys. -

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