Wedding Crashing Tips
--> Crashing A Wedding
By Thomas J. Kelly
I was watching a late night television last night and saw a commercial for Wedding Crashers DVD. As the founder of IHateWeddings.com I thought who would want to go to weddings they weren't invited to? Who would want to go to an extra wedding?
While I was disappointed I wasn't invited to Star Jones's B-Celebrity Studded Nuptials I didn't try to crash it. Then I realized I have crashed weddings before, in fact, I crashed several.
Have you ever been to a wedding at a reception hall only to realize there was a better wedding across the hall? Here are a few reasons why you may want to stop in to a strangers' wedding.
Your Wedding Has A Cash Bar
I remember one wedding that had 350 guests and a cash bar. Every time I needed a drink, I just slipped into the wedding next door.
The Other Wedding Has Cool Gifts
At my friend Mike Pezzullo's wedding, two of my friends fathers realized that the wedding next door had a really cool thank you gift. The bride and groom had a reception line and were personally handing each guest a nice bottle of wine.
Mr. Amore and Mr. Delenick waited on line to greet the other bride and groom. The two fifty-something year-old men complimented the couple on the floral arrangements and how lovely the affair was. It took ten minutes for them to take their wine and return to the correct reception.
The Other Wedding Has Hot Bridesmaids
Now, I had a great time at my friend Tom and Denise Fogarty's wedding. I know I had a great time because there is a picture of me with a tie tied around my head. The only downside was that the bridesmaids were either underage or married. The other female wedding guests had been rejected me on earlier occasions.
The wedding next door to Tom and Denise's wedding had a few hot bridesmaids. My friend Bryan Kist and I went next door to see if we could work our magic on the dance floor.
We made one critical mistake. Bryan was Tom Fogarty's best man. He was wearing a tuxedo that did not match the other bridal party's tuxedos. Bryan's tux was a red flag to the other guests that he and I didn't belong.
We returned the Fogarty wedding as soon as the bridesmaids threatened to call security.
Here are a few tips for crashing someone else's wedding.
Determine Your Mission
Why are you crashing the wedding? If you're going for gifts or free booze . . . get in and get out. If you're there to flirt, your skills must be more polished and the scheme is more elaborate.
Use Generic Wedding Small Talk
Keep your conversation specific to the event. Use lines like:
"Doesn't the bride look beautiful."
"They look so happy together."
"They do such a nice job here don't they."
Pick A Side Any Side
If they're with the bride's side, you should be with the groom.
If they are with the groom you should be with the bride.
How Do You Know The Couple
When asked how you know the couple . . . reply "Oh it's a long story, I'm just happy to see them so happy." That makes it seem like there is a sad story behind your friendship with the couple. Hint that it would be inappropriate to discuss it at such a happy affair.
Dance. Dance. Dance.
Crashing a wedding is like talking to a girl at a bar. The less you talk, the less likely you are to put your foot in your mouth.
If You're In A Tux You're Screwed
If you're in the wedding party of your particular affair, your chances of flying under the radar are nonexistent. Your only chance of hitting on any female guests at the other wedding is in the smoking area and outside the bathroom.
A successful crashing otherwise, is pure looks and balls. If you can pull off this while wearing another wedding's tuxedo, you might even be able to seduce the bride.
Cozy Up To An Old Broad
If you are flirting with the bridesmaids dance make sure the female in question sees you dancing for a few minutes with an old lady on the dance floor. You'll look like you're in with the family. Girls love guys who dance with old ladies. If you're nice to an old lady when you're young maybe you'll be nice to her when her ass is all saggy and wrinkly.
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