Comments
Comments made
Jamie wrote:
tiese are some good tips i will definately try to use them for my sisters wedding considering she is merring my ex-husband.
04/10 18:27:02
Katie wrote:
How about being made to fill out your own thank you card envelope?
-$75.00
-$75.00
04/24 16:14:31
never again! wrote:
Your own family invites your ex to your nephew's wedding and doesn't tell you he's coming...awkward moment when you walk in with date. Subtract $50
PS - I LOVE THIS SITE....it is bringing back memories of utter exhaustion, family dysfunction, stress, making my dress, and barfing before I went down the aisle! The silly women telling me how I "had" to do MY wedding...egads I'm never getting married again!!!!!!!!!!
PS - I LOVE THIS SITE....it is bringing back memories of utter exhaustion, family dysfunction, stress, making my dress, and barfing before I went down the aisle! The silly women telling me how I "had" to do MY wedding...egads I'm never getting married again!!!!!!!!!!
05/22 12:48:23
Tom wrote:
So in theory if you brought a date to the wedding, the bride is pregnant and showing with your baby, there is an open bar, a 5-piece band, Grandma breaks her hip on the dance-floor, you had a special role in the wedding but did not have to wear any special clothing and then you give an 8 minute toast which you end with a song that you wrote for them (very cheesy) then the gift should be $575?
By the same token, would you include with the card a bill for them to pay you if the math puts them in the negative numbers?
By the same token, would you include with the card a bill for them to pay you if the math puts them in the negative numbers?
06/08 00:38:15
Anony Mouse wrote:
You RSVP late:
Add $5 for each week you RSVP late and they still let you come
You never RSVP'd and came anyway:
Add $50
"Open Bar" is only Bud, Bud Light and Popov Vodka:
Subtract $10
Each ADDITIONAL speech over 3 minutes:
Subtract $10
Add $5 for each week you RSVP late and they still let you come
You never RSVP'd and came anyway:
Add $50
"Open Bar" is only Bud, Bud Light and Popov Vodka:
Subtract $10
Each ADDITIONAL speech over 3 minutes:
Subtract $10
07/13 09:12:34
Shocked at how stupid people are wrote:
If you are going to comment, make sure you can spell!
07/15 11:45:41
James wrote:
Some more...
The bridesmaids are fat & ugly
Subtract $50
The bridesmaids are cute and busty
Add $20 per bridesmaid
You score with a fat & ugly bridesmaid
Add $10
You score with a cute and busty bridesmaid
Add $300 (saves you the money you would have spent on an escort later int eh evening).
The bridesmaids are fat & ugly
Subtract $50
The bridesmaids are cute and busty
Add $20 per bridesmaid
You score with a fat & ugly bridesmaid
Add $10
You score with a cute and busty bridesmaid
Add $300 (saves you the money you would have spent on an escort later int eh evening).
08/28 11:22:06
E. wrote:
You're invited with a date, then your guest is specifically disinvited by the bride from the wedding, although the bride has no relationship with your guest whatsoever. Subtract $125.00
09/16 18:13:10
game over wrote:
During the reception you get to watch the the groom's brother "slug" the Brides mother. - add $50
Hey, its cheaper then pay-per-view fights.
Hey, its cheaper then pay-per-view fights.
09/20 23:21:51
suggalips01 wrote:
If you slept with the bride in the past and at least one of the brides invited guests. Plus got a hand job by the bride in the grooms house!
-- I win! Priceless!!
-- I win! Priceless!!
10/23 17:41:50
julie knox wrote:
this is so funny! but i remember my own wedding a couple of years ago. by far the most memorable gift was european glass from murano in italy.
sure money matters but every time i see the <a href="http://www.spcrystal.com/st...">murano glass sculpture</a> of 2 swans they bring me straight back to the best day of my life!
sure money matters but every time i see the <a href="http://www.spcrystal.com/st...">murano glass sculpture</a> of 2 swans they bring me straight back to the best day of my life!
07/20 22:49:17
Cagalli wrote:
ROFL!
A wedding guest says, "You'll be next." - subtract $25 for each.
The bride/groom talks to you about the wedding ad nauseum - subract $1 for each time it was brought up.
Either one of those should result in no gift.
A wedding guest says, "You'll be next." - subtract $25 for each.
The bride/groom talks to you about the wedding ad nauseum - subract $1 for each time it was brought up.
Either one of those should result in no gift.
11/17 19:03:15
Cagalli wrote:
Sunday night reception: Subtract $50
11/27 00:02:59
LB wrote:
LMAO!
The bride and groom eloped and you didn't have to spend a miserable Saturday night talking to the groom's maiden aunt....add $25
The bride begs you too sing at her wedding and you have a nice singing voice...subtract $50
The bride asks you to sing and you can't sing but still decide to do it anyways....add $25
You have to sing "The Rose".....subtract $25
The bride and groom eloped and you didn't have to spend a miserable Saturday night talking to the groom's maiden aunt....add $25
The bride begs you too sing at her wedding and you have a nice singing voice...subtract $50
The bride asks you to sing and you can't sing but still decide to do it anyways....add $25
You have to sing "The Rose".....subtract $25
07/08 00:43:00
exweddingphotographer wrote:
You're a single guy and the Wedding couple informs you they need you to drive her Aunt Urinal cause she can't drive-deduct $200
You figure out that's the only reason they invited you-deduct another $200
The bride invited you so she could try and fix you up with her 5-3 250 lb cousin that's so ugly Stevie Wonder would put a bag over her face before sex-deduct $500
You get to the wedding and the bride informs you that the photographer didn't show up and since your the photographer in the family "Would you mind taking the pictures?"-leave and stiff them on a wedding present
You figure out that's the only reason they invited you-deduct another $200
The bride invited you so she could try and fix you up with her 5-3 250 lb cousin that's so ugly Stevie Wonder would put a bag over her face before sex-deduct $500
You get to the wedding and the bride informs you that the photographer didn't show up and since your the photographer in the family "Would you mind taking the pictures?"-leave and stiff them on a wedding present
08/21 04:18:17
wow power leveling wrote:
You figure out that's the only reason they invited you-deduct another $200
The bride invited you so she could try and fix you up with her 5-3 250 lb cousin that's so ugly Stevie Wonder would put a bag over her face before sex-deduct $500
You get to the wedding and the bride informs you that the photographer didn't show up and since your the photographer in the family "Would you mind taking the pictures?"-leave and stiff them on a wedding present
The bride invited you so she could try and fix you up with her 5-3 250 lb cousin that's so ugly Stevie Wonder would put a bag over her face before sex-deduct $500
You get to the wedding and the bride informs you that the photographer didn't show up and since your the photographer in the family "Would you mind taking the pictures?"-leave and stiff them on a wedding present
11/11 03:43:02
Glad its not me! wrote:
You get invited to your Ex's wedding that she plans to have on your birthday, then proceeds to invite all of your friends with the exception of your best friend of 20 years, who was at the engagement party - Give a card from you, the girl you left her for (that you been dating for the 2 years since) and sign the guy who wasnt invited's name, no money.
11/12 21:31:27
Dance Shmance wrote:
The invitation comes with a registry card -20.
The bride and groom have a "dollar dance" where people put money in a hat to dance with them. -50
The DJ lets everyone know that "dollar dance" really means 10 and 20 dance. -500 and hubcaps replaced by masterfully colored pie tins.
The bride and groom have a "dollar dance" where people put money in a hat to dance with them. -50
The DJ lets everyone know that "dollar dance" really means 10 and 20 dance. -500 and hubcaps replaced by masterfully colored pie tins.
12/02 20:42:34
Cagalli wrote:
The bride is 10+ years younger than the groom:
hold the gift until she cleans his clock in the divorce and then give it to the groom as a consolation prize
or
hold the gift money and give it to the groom's children after their stepmother gets the inheritance
hold the gift until she cleans his clock in the divorce and then give it to the groom as a consolation prize
or
hold the gift money and give it to the groom's children after their stepmother gets the inheritance
01/02 05:39:18
Me wrote:
The maid (not matron!) of honor is preg (& showing)... she brought her other two kids a baby and a toddler, but no date (and the bride's uncle thought the kids were hers & the groom's)...
That's gotta be worth something too... lol
That's gotta be worth something too... lol
01/08 01:03:06
wow gold wrote:
hold the gift money and give it to the groom's children after their stepmother gets the inheritance
03/03 10:00:50
Auntie Karla wrote:
Well, while all of you sleeping with the bride before the wedding, there's got to be something said for keeping the groom company on that lonely night. Add or subtract depending upon how much crying he does.
03/16 10:54:20
Auntie Karla wrote:
Well, while all of you sleeping with the bride before the wedding, there's got to be something said for keeping the groom company on that lonely night. Add or subtract depending upon how much crying he does.
03/16 10:55:17
DMC wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
04/16 13:14:02
wow power leveling wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
04/22 03:27:10
wow gold wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
06/19 00:44:05
Big Sister wrote:
What if the bride and groom met at your wedding; and you have to pay at least 200 dollars for your bridesmaid dress, while they are not even having a reception for you to wear it to, because "they" are trying to save everyone else money?
- Can I send them a Bill?
- Can I send them a Bill?
08/03 11:13:15
wow gold wrote:
The invitation comes with a registry card -20.
The bride and groom have a "dollar dance" where people put money in a hat to dance with them. -50
The DJ lets everyone know that "dollar dance" really means 10 and 20 dance. -500 and hubcaps replaced by masterfully colored pie tins.x10.05
The bride and groom have a "dollar dance" where people put money in a hat to dance with them. -50
The DJ lets everyone know that "dollar dance" really means 10 and 20 dance. -500 and hubcaps replaced by masterfully colored pie tins.x10.05
10/05 02:24:28
wow gold wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
10/14 20:04:14
Metin2 yang wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
11/14 03:13:12
Metin2 yang wrote:
What about travelling down South, does that get us off the hook for a gift all together?
11/14 03:14:53
Wedding Gift Calculator
The biggest chore for a wedding guest is to decide how much money to put in the envelope. Not all weddings are equal. Therefore every couple getting married does not deserve the same gift. When giving a gift for a wedding there are many factors you should consider so that you don't look cheap and more importantly so that you don't give too much.When you give cash is to remember to give it at the end of the reception. This gives you a chance to have fun and look at how much work the bride and groom put into the event. It also gives you a chance to consider how much work YOU put into the event. Remember, its not the gift, it’s the thought that counts. If you put a lot of thought into a wedding . . . you should give money.
I start off with a base figure of $75.00.
You brought a date to the wedding.
Add $75.00
You were invited to bring a date but couldn't find one.
Add $25.00
You were not invited to bring a date.
Subtract $25.00
You were not invited to bring a date but brought one anyway.
Add $5.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The bride is pregnant.
Subtract $25.00
The bride is pregnant and showing.
(Because there is nothing funnier than a pregnant woman wearing white at a
wedding).
Add $50.00
The bride looks pregnant but you aren't sure if she's pregnant or heavy.
Add $25.00
The bride is not pregnant but you've been telling others guests that she is.
Add $50.00
The bride is pregnant but the groom is not the baby's father.
Add $50.00
The bride is pregnant and you may be the baby's father.
Add $100.00
The bride was pregnant and the baby is now a toddler and was a member of the bridal party.
(Because they had the decency to make sure the relationship was going to last before getting married)
Add $75.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the bride or groom's second or third marriage
Subtract $50.00
This is the bride or groom's fourth marriage.
(Persistence is its own reward) Subtract $25.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Open Bar for alcohol
Add $25.00
Cash Bar for alcohol
(*Ask for a receipt every time you order a drink. Deduct the total amount of money you spent on alcohol. Then put the receipts in the envelope with your gift)
Subtract *
Dinner is served Buffet Style
Subtract $10.00
The reception is a Denny's Breakfast buffet.
Subtract $20.00
Cash Bar for soda **
(**If they charge you for soda at the wedding DO NOT GIVE A GIFT. Immediately,
go to the bride, kick her in the shin and then go home.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They hired a band
Add $5.00 for each piece
This is the first time the band has ever played a gig outside of their garage.
Subtract $4.00 for each piece
The band is a "Neil Diamond Tribute" band.
Subtract $10.00
The D.J. or band leader relentlessly tries to get Grandma on the dance floor.
Subtract $2.00 for each attempt
Grandma gives in, goes to the dance floor and breaks her hip.
Add $50.00
The D.J. or band leader can't remember the bride or groom's name.
Subtract $10.00
The D.J. or band leader hits on your date.
Subtract $15.00
Your date goes home with the drummer.
Subtract $20.00
The D.J. or band played "The Chicken Dance," "The Macarena," or "The YMCA".
Subtract $5.00 for each
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You were in the bridal party or given a special role in the wedding.
Add $50.00
You had to rent a tux or buy a dress for the wedding.
Subtract $10.00
Said Tux or Dress is hideous
Subtract $10.00
Aforementioned rented clothing gives you a rash
Subtract $10.00
The dress you purchased can never be worn again.
Subtract $10.00
It is so ugly, your local Salvation Army refuses to accept it when you try to
donate it.
Subtract $10.00
The dress makes you look fat.
Subtract $1.00 for every ten pounds the dress adds.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have to give a toast at the wedding.
Subtract $5.00
Toast lasts longer than three minutes
Add $10.00 for each minute over 3
Someone at the wedding volunteers to serenade the Bride and Groom with a song he/she wrote specifically for their wedding.
Subtract $10.00
You serenade the Bride and Groom with a song you wrote specifically for their wedding.
Add $75.00