Passive Agressive Way To Taunt A Bride

By Thomas J. Kelly

I found the most passive aggressive way to annoy a bride. Hold off RSVPing for as long as possible. It's so simple. Anyone can do it. All you have to do is NOT do something.

Not RSVPing is brilliant because it keeps the bride's family from knowing the final guest count. Not knowing the final guest count keeps the bride from doing a lot of things like ordering favors, paying the caterer, and planning the all important seating chart.

I don't think I have ever RSVPed for a wedding. Not RSVPing used to be my way of forcing friends who disappeared off the face of the Earth after they got engaged to call me. Oh? Joe hasn't had the time to call anyone back since his three engagement parties? Not RSVPing will force Joe or his fiance to call you.

Now you have to be careful of how much after the RSVP due date you RSVP. Because so much depends on the number of guests at the wedding, couples take this VERY seriously. My friend Bruce lists "Not RSVPing to his Fourth of July Wedding" as one of the reasons he's mad at me.

My other friend "Barney" and his wife refused to call people who weren't RSVPing. Instead "Mrs. Barney" sent RSVP "overdue notices" and "final warning" letters. After the "final warning" letter she just assumed the invitees weren't coming. I don't know if any invitees who missed the "final warning" showed up to their wedding anyway.

One other fun way to have RSVP fun is by playing with whether or not you're bringing a date. First RSVP without a date. Then with one. Wait a week. Then RSVP without one. The trick is to end on a RSVP where you're going to the wedding solo so you don't have to give a gift that pays for two plates.
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