Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy

It’s been a growing trend to hand out “Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy” with the wedding programs at the ceremony. The trend has grown so much that there are directions on the web for making origami tissue packs so that these tissue packages will match your invitation paper.

It’s cocky to presume people are going to be crying tears of joy at your wedding.

Yes, people tend to cry at weddings. But you know what? There is no guarantee they will cry at YOUR wedding.

People often cry at funerals. Not everyone at my funeral will be sad. There will be at least one or two women who will say: “That a-hole deserved it. He made fun of my wedding.”

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Men Changing Last Name

There is a new and growing tradition that says women do not have to take the last name of their new husbands. You know what . . . if someone asked me to change my last name I don’t know if I would. If I had a daughter, I don’t know if I would want her to change her last name.

But here’s where I’m a hypocrite. I want the woman who will eventually be my wife to change her last name.

Why?

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A Groom’s Reply

This site is fantastic. 

I am getting married in October to a wonderful woman, but we have very different ideas about what a wedding is all about. 

She sees it as her “big day”. I see it as money that should be spent on buying a home. Every dollar that is spent on the wedding I see as flushed down the toilet. As my credit card bills increase, so does my frustration with the whole thing. Thankfully, she has attempted to save money where she can; however, I still see this as a rather large waste. I would’ve rather preferred a small, private wedding and a nice party afterwards. 

My suggestion to anyone reading this, or who finds themselves agreeing, is to speak up early, because when the wedding train starts moving, there ain’t no stopping it.
 

COVID / CORONA WEDDING TIPS

With group gatherings, seeming like a thing of the distant pass, even I, Tom Kelly the creator of I Hate Weddings.com . . . miss weddings.  I don’t miss the expense, cost and drama but I do miss my loved ones.  I miss seeing people happy.

Despite the emotional need for large family events, a badly planned wedding in 2020 and probably early 2021 is not only self-centered, it’s potentially deadly.

To help out Brides across America, I have restarted I Hate Weddings.com to prevent brides and grooms from turning the most self-centered days of their lives into murderous affairs.

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Opened My Eyes

Holy Smoke! IHateWeddings.com has really opened my eyes! 

I have always dreamed of giving my daughter a glorious wedding with all the trimmings. 

Reading all of this has made me realize that it was never for her really, it was for me. I wanted to look great because of all I was going to do. I wanted the applause for a job well done. I I I.

After reading the articles on this web-site about the MONSTER that weddings have become, I now see that I am a Frankenstein as well. 

I was going to create another monster. Your right, it IS about the union of the couple, NOT the ceremony or gifts. 

Thank you Tom Kelly, you have saved me thousands and spared me the hives and split lip that always comes from nerves with an event I put on!

Signed,

Kate (Mother Of A Bride)

Still Talking About Your Wedding

I saw a buddy after he came back from his honeymoon. All his wife could talk about was their wedding. The reception was three hours long. Her play by play recounting of the evening lasted five.

It is an affliction that cripples newlywed women every year. They realize their dream wedding is over and they have nothing left to look forward to in life. Subsequently, they keep talking about their wedding day over and over until someone ends up shooting themselves.

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ALCOHOL AND WEDDING TOASTS

Ever hear the phrase “expect the least from those who talk the most”? That phrase can be applied to yours truly, Tom Kelly, the creator of IHateWeddings.com when I had to give a toast at a wedding.  

I am not proud but I have given the worst toast in wedding history.  It wasn’t just bad.  It was offensive.

Mike never made me feel bad about it.  Even his wife just said “I hope you learned something from the experience.”

From my mistakes, I have LIFE LESSONS on how to mimimize toast disasters. 

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Thank You Cards

Do me a favor, if my dad goes to your wedding and gives you a generous wedding gift, don’t tell him you spent the money on something fun.

My dad likes giving generous wedding gifts. He feels like he’s helping you get your life started. What he doesn’t like, is seeing people have fun. He works hard. He saves his money. He doesn’t spend his money on fun so you shouldn’t spend his money on fun.

My parents went to a distant cousin’s wedding this year. He just got a thank you card back which read “Thank you for the generous gift. We used the money to pay for our honeymoon in Mexico.”

I hate to sound like I’m turning into my father but if they spent my money on their honeymoon I would have been mad too. I’ve never been to Mexico. I can’t afford to go to Mexico because all of my friends are getting married and I have to go to their weddings.

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Called Out For Not Giving A Gift

I remember this story well. I’ve always advocated for not giving wedding gifts in the spirit of reducing bridal expectations.

But there was a time in my life when I genuinely couldn’t afford to give a wedding gift. all of the events that go into a wedding. The nice suit, the travel, the hotel, and bachelor party were costs that added up.

I did have a bride call me out on not giving a gift at the earliest and lowest points of my comedy and TV career.

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Cash Bar At The Wedding?

Rule Number 1: If you can’t afford to buy alcohol for your guests, you can’t afford to have 300 people at your wedding.

I don’t care how great the food is. I don’t care if a bridesmaid makes love to me under the dessert trolley. If I’m at your wedding and I’m sober, I’m going to be mad.

My friend Mike Petrillo was marrying his fiancé Noelle. Noelle wanted to have the entire Eastern seaboard at her wedding.

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