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10 Things That Would Make Me Love A Wedding

I’m always complaining about how much I Hate Weddings. I haven’t hated every wedding I went to. In fact there were a few I liked quite a bit. In an effort to be positive, I thought I would write a post about the 10 elements of a wedding that would make me love a wedding.

1) I want to feel like the couple is in love.

Too often you go to weddings and you feel like the couple is getting married because they have to. For example they are old or they have been dating a long time and it’s just expected. I love a wedding where you can feel that the bride and groom are in love. 

They don’t have to kiss a lot. In fact, I hate going to a wedding and feeling like an extra in a porno. I want to see it in their eyes that the couple is in love.

2) I want to feel like the couple will still be married in 5 years and in 50 years.

Too often I go to weddings and I’m taking bets on how long it’s going to last. I love a wedding where you feel like the couple will actually stay married and faithful till “death do us part.”

3) I want to feel like a guest not an attendee.

I hate going to a wedding and feeling like a seat filler. I want to feel like my presence is appreciated. I want to feel like I’m here because I want to be and not because I have to be. 

That means the bride and groom will give me the illusion that they have spent time with me. 

I also want to feel like some thought was put into my seat assignment. That you tried to put me with friends of yours whom I’d enjoy sitting with and enjoy getting to know. The only table lower than the “freak table” at a wedding is the “leftover” table.

4) I want to feel like the effort and expense of going to your wedding was appreciated.

I work weekends. Often to go to a wedding I’ve given up making money to be there. Plus you have travel time, hotel, airfare, dry cleaning and if you’re in the wedding party tuxedo rental and dress purchasing. I want to feel like the bride and groom appreciate how much it cost for me to be a part of their special day.

5) I want to feel like the (financial) needs of their guests were considered. 

My friend Bruce got married on Fourth Of July weekend in Newport, Rhode Island. He never told his poor college friends about the inexpensive hotel that half of his guests were staying at. He only told us about the Excelsior which was $300 a night with a three night stay minimum. We wound up staying an hour outside of town.

Often the comment on this web-site is “if you don’t like it, don’t go.” Well brides and grooms should realize that at these weddings, they have friends that won’t say no to them. Even if it means spending a week’s pay for their special day.

Brides and grooms should feel lucky to have friends who are willing to spend their hard earned money to make their wedding day special. They should also be responsible and considerate.

4) I want to feel like I will still be friends with the groom after the wedding is over.

Too often I go to weddings and feel like it’s a good bye party and the end of a friendship. I want to feel like I will one day know the names of your children and maybe you will be as important a part of my wedding as I was at yours.

5) I want the bride and groom to be likable.

Even if I don’t know the bride well, I’d like her to put on a show and try to be likeable. That means no acting like bridezilla. Brides and grooms should realize not everybody has had a chance to get to know you before the wedding. So the worst day to act like a bridezilla is on your wedding day.

6) I want to reconnect with old friends and get to know the family my friend is marrying into.

Whether it’s the wacky Uncle, angry father-in-law or the cousin with the lisp, I want to know who you’ll be spending Christmas with for the rest of your life.

7) I want a sense of tradition without it seeming manufactured.

I love wedding traditions. I want to feel a sense of family and cultural history. But I don’t want the event to feel . . . produced. I’d put good food and AN OPEN BAR with booze into this category.

8) I want good entertainment

I want the entertainment to flow and not feel like I’m a hostage. So that means two maybe three speeches tops and they should all be under three minutes. If I wanted to see the Best Man do a half an hour of stage time, I’d buy a ticket and go see him at the Chuckle Hut. 

9) I want a sense of adventure.

This may be more of a personal experience but I’ve gone to a few weddings where there was a sense of adventure. Were the bride and groom going to make it to the altar? Did the groom drink too much the night before? Did the limo break down with the bride on the way to the church. 

I don’t want there to be drama. Just adventure.

10) I want to get lucky.

I want to feel like I have the shot of finding my bride at your wedding. If not, I want a chance at scoring with a loose bridesmaid who’s so drunk she’s about to fall out of her dress

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