Governor Cuomo’s Advice

“Look, you can get married.  You just can’t have 1,000 people at your wedding.  You get the same result at the end of the day.  It’s also cheaper.” – Governor Andrew Cuomo

When Governor Cuomo said these wise words in October of 2020 he was admonishing a prominent member of the Brooklyn community to not have a 10,000 person wedding because of Covid-19. 

I think the advice is timeless and applies to both before and after Covid times.

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Stand By wedding guest

We’ve all heard of A list wedding guests . . . the friends and family you definitely have to invite to a wedding. Then you have B list wedding guests, the friends you love and they barely made the cut.

Then you have the C list wedding guests. That would be coworkers and people who get invited very last minute. They wind up at the “freak table.”

Now we all know there is nothing sadder than having empty seats at your wedding. You need your guests who RSVP yes to actually show up.

How do you prevent unsightly empty seats?

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Revenge For THe Solo invite

Here’s a great way to get back at a couple who didn’t invite you to their wedding with a date or as I call it “The Lack Of Date Invite”.

I know a married couple Joe and Jen who keep a list of who gave what at their weddings. When it’s time for their friend to get married Joe and Jen check the list to see what the friend gave at their wedding. The couple then gives a proportional gift when it’s the friend’s special day.

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Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy

It’s been a growing trend to hand out “Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy” with the wedding programs at the ceremony. The trend has grown so much that there are directions on the web for making origami tissue packs so that these tissue packages will match your invitation paper.

It’s cocky to presume people are going to be crying tears of joy at your wedding.

Yes, people tend to cry at weddings. But you know what? There is no guarantee they will cry at YOUR wedding.

People often cry at funerals. Not everyone at my funeral will be sad. There will be at least one or two women who will say: “That a-hole deserved it. He made fun of my wedding.”

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ALCOHOL AND WEDDING TOASTS

Ever hear the phrase “expect the least from those who talk the most”? That phrase can be applied to yours truly, Tom Kelly, the creator of IHateWeddings.com when I had to give a toast at a wedding.  

I am not proud but I have given the worst toast in wedding history.  It wasn’t just bad.  It was offensive.

Mike never made me feel bad about it.  Even his wife just said “I hope you learned something from the experience.”

From my mistakes, I have LIFE LESSONS on how to mimimize toast disasters. 

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Second Wedding Tips

They say love is better the second time around. But are weddings? Here are some tips for couples who are planning a wedding where someone has been married before.

Second Wedding Tips

Here are some ground rules for people who are marrying someone who has been married before.

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Questions to ask before being in a bridal party

For young professionals in hard economic times I have created a list of questions you should ask yourself before accepting the honor of becoming someone’s bridesmaids or groomsmen. These hard financial times have given the young and poor among us permission to say “I can’t afford to be your man-slave for six months as you plan your wedding.”  

But in all seriousness, when you agree to be in a wedding party there are expectations. If the expectations bother you say no. If you don’t have enough time to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No, thank you I can’t do it.” If you don’t have enough money to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No thank you I can’t do it.”

You won’t be in the pictures the young couple may keep on the mantle. But you’ll save a friendship.

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The Other Bachelor Party

One solution to the “Do you invite the in-laws to the bachelor party?” situation is to have two bachelor parties.

You have what everyone THINKS is the bachelor party. You make it classy. Maybe you invite the bride’s father to a steak dinner with the boys. That should double the dowry right there.

Then a week later you have the second bachelor party. The REAL bachelor party. That’s the bachelor party with the strippers and hookers and debauchery. Only a select group of men can be invited to that one.

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