No Bottles At The Wedding?

If you don’t want glass beer bottles at you wedding . . . fine. But there is a right way to do that. Before we talk about the right way to do it . . . let’s talk about my friend Jim’s wife Dianna.

There’s a lot of reasons why I love my friend Jim’s wife Dianna. But this is not the venue for me to be affectionate. Most relevant to you, the IHateWeddings.com reader, I love Dianna because she said nice things about me on the meanings blog on earting LIBrides.com

LiBrides.com had linked to the Sunday weddings article I had written where I stated “Most people would rather receive an envelope full of powdered anthrax than an invitation to a Sunday wedding.

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Tell Them You Are Bringing A Date

As someone who has been pretty much terminally single for his adult life, I don’t think issuing “and guest” invitations are mandatory for those planning a wedding. But the decision has to be uniform. Are you inviting everybody with a date or without a date? Are you inviting only married couples? Are you inviting only couples who’ve been in a relationship for a certain amount of time? Are you inviting only couples who are serious? 

What happens when you don’t invite everyone with an “and guest” invitation is that you start judging your guests and their significant others.

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Revenge For THe Solo invite

Here’s a great way to get back at a couple who didn’t invite you to their wedding with a date or as I call it “The Lack Of Date Invite”.

I know a married couple Joe and Jen who keep a list of who gave what at their weddings. When it’s time for their friend to get married Joe and Jen check the list to see what the friend gave at their wedding. The couple then gives a proportional gift when it’s the friend’s special day.

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Men Changing Last Name

There is a new and growing tradition that says women do not have to take the last name of their new husbands. You know what . . . if someone asked me to change my last name I don’t know if I would. If I had a daughter, I don’t know if I would want her to change her last name.

But here’s where I’m a hypocrite. I want the woman who will eventually be my wife to change her last name.

Why?

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Thank You Cards

Do me a favor, if my dad goes to your wedding and gives you a generous wedding gift, don’t tell him you spent the money on something fun.

My dad likes giving generous wedding gifts. He feels like he’s helping you get your life started. What he doesn’t like, is seeing people have fun. He works hard. He saves his money. He doesn’t spend his money on fun so you shouldn’t spend his money on fun.

My parents went to a distant cousin’s wedding this year. He just got a thank you card back which read “Thank you for the generous gift. We used the money to pay for our honeymoon in Mexico.”

I hate to sound like I’m turning into my father but if they spent my money on their honeymoon I would have been mad too. I’ve never been to Mexico. I can’t afford to go to Mexico because all of my friends are getting married and I have to go to their weddings.

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Cash Bar At The Wedding?

Rule Number 1: If you can’t afford to buy alcohol for your guests, you can’t afford to have 300 people at your wedding.

I don’t care how great the food is. I don’t care if a bridesmaid makes love to me under the dessert trolley. If I’m at your wedding and I’m sober, I’m going to be mad.

My friend Mike Petrillo was marrying his fiancé Noelle. Noelle wanted to have the entire Eastern seaboard at her wedding.

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Thunderstealing (calendar Date Stealing)

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, stealing someone’s thunder is to prevent someone from having success or getting attention, praise, etc., by doing or saying whatever that person was planning to do or say.

If you book your wedding within 12 weeks before a wedding which will have a lot of the same guests, you are thunder stealing.

There are at least 5 couples I know who are going to think this article is about them. The truth is it’s about my friend Meredith but this is a common problem that affects lots of people.

Here are some guidelines for booking a wedding date: 

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Getting Married On Siblings Birthday

Here is an email from an IHateWeddings.com reader: “What happens when you sacrifice your birthday so your brother can celebrate his anniversary every year on your birthday? I find that a stab in the back.”

We talk about Thunderstealing a lot at IHateWeddings.com. This is the ultimate case of Thunderstealing. This is a moment of Thunderstealing that is a lifetime in the making.

Here is a new IHateWeddings.com rule: You are not allowed to get married on your unmarried siblings’ birthdays. Especially if it looks like your unmarried sibling will never get married. That means for the rest of your life your spinster sister’s special day will be overshadowed by your anniversary.

And don’t pray for your brother to get divorced. Then instead of your birthday and his anniversary being the happiest day of your brother’s life, it will be the worst day of his life.  

While your family is singing you “Happy Birthday” they’ll secretly be feeling bad for your divorced brother.

Signs You’re A B list Wedding Guest

I think the hardest part of planning a wedding is picking who you want to come to the wedding. Instead of voting people off the island, families have to “vote friends out of the reception.” It’s a hard process, especially for couples having smaller weddings.

But sometimes couples have the reverse problem. After they’ve boiled down the guest list to their favorite relatives and friends the RSVPs start coming in. They start to realize that their most treasured friends and family members don’t want to come to their wedding.

Empty chairs means lost revenue for the bride and groom. Plus there is nothing more humiliating to a young couple getting married than empty tables at your reception. 

It’s at that point Brides and Grooms have to whip out “The B List” and sometimes things get so bad . . . they have to whip out “The D List.”

Here are some signs you were a B List wedding guest.

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