Signs You’re A B list Wedding Guest

I think the hardest part of planning a wedding is picking who you want to come to the wedding. Instead of voting people off the island, families have to “vote friends out of the reception.” It’s a hard process, especially for couples having smaller weddings.

But sometimes couples have the reverse problem. After they’ve boiled down the guest list to their favorite relatives and friends the RSVPs start coming in. They start to realize that their most treasured friends and family members don’t want to come to their wedding.

Empty chairs means lost revenue for the bride and groom. Plus there is nothing more humiliating to a young couple getting married than empty tables at your reception. 

It’s at that point Brides and Grooms have to whip out “The B List” and sometimes things get so bad . . . they have to whip out “The D List.”

Here are some signs you were a B List wedding guest.

  • You are at at able of people who’ve never met either the bride or groom.
  • Your table was called last for the buffet.
  • Before calling your table for the buffet all of the other tables are offered seconds.
  • Neither the bride nor the groom remembers your name.
  • When told your name the bride and groom accuse you of crashing the wedding.
  • The invitation came three days before the wedding.
  • You didn’t get an invitation you got an e-vite.
  • Your place card is written in sharpie.
  • You’re sitting at a table with the father of the bride’s mailman, landscaper and plumber.
  • It’s been more than eight years since you’ve seen the bride or groom.
  • You’ve made love to either the bride or the groom.
  • Your invitation was addressed not to “You and Guest” but to “You and whoever else you feel like bringing.”
  • You are sitting with the couple the bride and groom met in Pre-Cana.
  • Three of the people at your table may not have showered in the last four weeks.
  • It’s a black tie event and you are sitting with the trashy cousin wearing denim and a polo.
  • Each person at your table isn’t talking to someone in the bride or groom’s immediate family.
  • You are sitting a table of migrant day laborers who were hired as seat fillers.
  • Your table is as far away from the couple as possible.
  • Couple figured a common friend would bring you as their “and guest”

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