Signs You Are At A Trashy Wedding

With suggestions and help from actual I Hate Weddings.com readers, I have updated our “Signs You Are At A Trashy Wedding” list. This list includes suggestions from friends and I Hate Weddings.com readers.

If there’s something we forgot to add leave a comment and I’ll put it into version 3!

• The Bride does a keg stand.

• The Bride wears a bridal sweat suit.

• The Bride is pregnant and showing.

• The Bride does a kegstand.

• The Bride is pregnant, showing and does a keg stand.

• Instead of a band, Karaoke machine is rented. 

• The Bride is pregnant and the groom doesn’t think he’s the father.

• The flower girl is the couple’s child.

• The flower girl is a child from a previous marriage.

• The Bride’s father is so drunk she has to drag him down the aisle.

• The maid of honor is baby momma to two of his kids.

• Bridal party arrives in Ford F 150.

• The venue has Fluorescent lighting 

• The Bride’s mother catches the bouquet.

• The Bride’s sixteen year old sister catches the bouquet.

• Someone brought the bachelor party stripper as a date.

• The reception is held at the same place as the bachelor party.

• All of the horderves are served on Triscuits.

• At some point, the police are called.

• There is a cash bar at the wedding.

• The junior bridesmaid is pregnant.

• There is a shot girl walking around at the reception.

• The bride or groom calls when they can’t find your wedding gift.

• Garterbelt ceremony felt like watching a sex video

• It is a Sunday night wedding.

• The wedding was on a Thursday.

• The bride’s perverted old uncle gets smashed and starts hitting on the bridesmaids.

• Guests are invited based on their income level rather than relationship to the couple.

• Buffet Dinner

• The only food served is Barbeque.

• The only beverage served is Bud or Pabst Blue Ribbon.

• At the end of the reception the bride and groom launch some fireworks in the parking lot.

• The entire event was paid for on the groom’s maxed out Visa card.

• After the honeymoon, the bride will be moving in with the groom and his mom.

• The bride/groom compares diamond sizes with another woman.

• The groom/bride is marrying his/her first boyfriend/girlfriend.

• The bride quits her job just before the wedding.

• The bride invites her ex-boyfriend, who brings his new girlfriend that bears an uncanny resemblance to the bride.

• The groom is stalking the bride’s friend. 

• Everyone knows that the Bride has a problem with pills.

• Everyone but the bride knows the groom had sex with a stripper at the bachelor party.

• The bride and groom are on welfare . . . yet they scraped together enough for a big party.

• The “church”/”venue” would be the local white-trash/bogan bar – a true marvel and shrine for all white-trash pilgrims to reach to make their lives complete ..The Bride and Groom would get married where the karaoke machine is.

• The groom grabs the bride’s ass during their perfunctory “zombie shuffle” first dance

• Someone shows up in a polo shirt or flannel.

• You get an Evite to the ceremony only.

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