Thunderstealing (calendar Date Stealing)

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, stealing someone’s thunder is to prevent someone from having success or getting attention, praise, etc., by doing or saying whatever that person was planning to do or say.

If you book your wedding within 12 weeks before a wedding which will have a lot of the same guests, you are thunder stealing.

There are at least 5 couples I know who are going to think this article is about them. The truth is it’s about my friend Meredith but this is a common problem that affects lots of people.

Here are some guidelines for booking a wedding date: 

• Consider your family and close friends weddings when picking a wedding date.

• Weddings are special because they are infrequent occasions.  

• Your friends and family do not want to go to two weddings with the same guests twice in a three month to one year period.

• Booking your wedding close to an already booked wedding makes you a “Thunder Stealer.”

If you have to book your wedding date close to a loved one or very good friend . . . book your date AFTER that friend.

This all boils down to the core theme of Nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. When you book your wedding slightly before a family member’s existing date people will resent not only you but also the other couple who had thoughtfully picked their wedding date first.

Thunder Thieving is trashy because it’s just plain rude. You are being inconsiderate not only to the other couple but also to OVERLAPPING GUESTS.

Reasons why Thunder Stealing is rude:

• It ignores the needs of Overlapping Guests. Overlapping guests are family and friends who will be invited to both events.

• There is nothing sadder than being at a $50,000 affair and saying “See you next week.”

• The other couple is paying more for the hall. The other couple cared enough about the date to book the date first. They didn’t let a cancellation at the Marriot Country Club determine when the happiest day of their lives was going to be.  

• The other couple is pissing away their life savings on a one day only event too. By the time their wedding comes along guests feel like weddings are a monthly affair.

• Because of the proximity people will compare both of your events. You are especially rude if you are stealing thunder from someone who is having a more financially sensible affair.

Most affected by the trashiness of Thunder Theives is Overlapping Out Of Towners. Those are the family and friends who spend $600 bucks just getting to your wedding. Plus they most likely have to take days off from work.

Before deluded brides start leaving comments about how “if you don’t like it, just don’t come”, remember it’s not that simple. By thunder stealing you’re making your friends and family members play “Sophie’s Choice”. No matter which one they choose they’re going to feel guilty.

Plus the odds are if you’re rude enough to be a Thunder Stealer, you’re also rude enough to make your guests who can’t make both affairs feel bad.

There are a few occasions however where thunder stealing isn’t thunder stealing . . . it’s just planning your wedding close to another.

• There will be fewer than six overlapping guests.

• Your overlapping guests are all local.

• You and your significant other are not going to co-habitate until you are married before God.

• You are not having sex until you get married.

• You eloped and didn’t invite anybody anyway.

• The bride is really pregnant.


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