For young professionals in hard economic times I have created a list of questions you should ask yourself before accepting the honor of becoming someone’s bridesmaids or groomsmen. These hard financial times have given the young and poor among us permission to say “I can’t afford to be your man-slave for six months as you plan your wedding.”
But in all seriousness, when you agree to be in a wedding party there are expectations. If the expectations bother you say no. If you don’t have enough time to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No, thank you I can’t do it.” If you don’t have enough money to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No thank you I can’t do it.”
You won’t be in the pictures the young couple may keep on the mantle. But you’ll save a friendship.
Time Questions
• How many engagement parties do I need to go to?
• Do I have to go to the rehearsal?
• Am I expected to go to a shower? How many showers am I expected to attend?
• How many bachelor / bachelorette parties are you hoping to have?
• Do I have to take time off for this?
Financial Questions:
• Am I expected to pay for the shower?
• How many times am I expected to fly? Can I afford the airfare?
• How much am I expected to spend on a tuxedo or dress?
• How much is this going to cost me total?
• CAN I AFFORD THIS?
Friendship Evaluation Questions:
• Will this person still be my friend after the wedding? Will they still be a part of my life after they get married?
• If they do disappear after they get married, does that bother me?
• Would I ask the bride or groom to be in my wedding party?
• Would they jump through the same hoops for me that I am going to go through for them?
Emotional Questions:
• Which bridesmaid or groomsman will I have to stand next to?
• Do I have to spend a lot of time with an ex?
• Are you going to be a drama queen when planning the wedding?
• Do I really have input on the dress? If it makes me want to cry will you pick another one?
Questions To Ask Yourself:
After asking all of the above questions ask yourself:
• Will the bride and groom keep their expectations under control?
• Is the bride going to be a bridezilla who might hurt my feelings?
• Can I live up to what the bride and groom want from their wedding party?
• Can I afford this financially?
• Can I afford this emotionally?
• Do any of the above answers bother me?
• Do I want to do this?