The Other Bachelor Party

One solution to the “Do you invite the in-laws to the bachelor party?” situation is to have two bachelor parties.

You have what everyone THINKS is the bachelor party. You make it classy. Maybe you invite the bride’s father to a steak dinner with the boys. That should double the dowry right there.

Then a week later you have the second bachelor party. The REAL bachelor party. That’s the bachelor party with the strippers and hookers and debauchery. Only a select group of men can be invited to that one.

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Signs You’re A B list Wedding Guest

I think the hardest part of planning a wedding is picking who you want to come to the wedding. Instead of voting people off the island, families have to “vote friends out of the reception.” It’s a hard process, especially for couples having smaller weddings.

But sometimes couples have the reverse problem. After they’ve boiled down the guest list to their favorite relatives and friends the RSVPs start coming in. They start to realize that their most treasured friends and family members don’t want to come to their wedding.

Empty chairs means lost revenue for the bride and groom. Plus there is nothing more humiliating to a young couple getting married than empty tables at your reception. 

It’s at that point Brides and Grooms have to whip out “The B List” and sometimes things get so bad . . . they have to whip out “The D List.”

Here are some signs you were a B List wedding guest.

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I Love Weddings dot com?

10 Things That Would Make Me Love A Wedding

I’m always complaining about how much I Hate Weddings. I haven’t hated every wedding I went to. In fact there were a few I liked quite a bit. In an effort to be positive, I thought I would write a post about the 10 elements of a wedding that would make me love a wedding.

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Best Wedding Of 2018

One of the best weddings I can think of in recent memory was the one I wasn’t invited to. My friend Marc eloped with his girlfriend Pam last fall in Hawaii.

They were planning on having a small wedding in New England but it was spiraling out of control. Marc and Pam were just starting out and were going to pay for the wedding themselves. Despite the fact she wasn’t chipping in, Marc’s mother had a guest list of over 80 people. When asked to cut the list down, Marc’s mom said “that’s as short as I can make it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

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Morals Of IHateweddings.com

The best part about the last version of IHateWeddings.com that my best friend Mike set up for me was readers can leave comments.

I have 200 pages of the best hate mail, death threats, and people saying the meanest things ever. And I love EVERY WORD OF IT.

Some people don’t realize this is a comedy site written by a comedian. So yes I do go over the top sometimes for shock value or a laugh. That’s provoked some strong reactions from the unwitting and the indifferent.

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Sunday Night Weddings are Evil

If you’re planning a Sunday night wedding I have an idea for you. Instead of sending out invitations just send out little notes that say I’m getting married but I don’t want you to come to my wedding.

And for the relatives that HAVE to go to your wedding send them a little note that says “I hate you.”

Last month I went to a wedding reception that STARTED at 7:00 P.M. on a Sunday night. I’m usually in bed by 6:45 on Sunday nights. 

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I Hate Showers More

Becky Hates Showers More Than Weddings

By Becky In Ohio

I don’t think that bridal showers are getting enough hate mail on this site…so here it goes….

I HATE BRIDAL SHOWERS! I’m actually getting married in a few months, and am still being badgered for not having one (or three, which is the norm now). I think they’re blatant requests for gifts (gifts going to couples that most likely already live together and have way nicer things than me).

Does any woman out there actually enjoy going to one of these (when it’s not your own daughter reaping all the rewards)? They’re horrible, and it’s so unfair that only women get stuck with these stupid traditions (baby showers too).

I can understand a baby shower when you’re having your first child, but really bridal showers are getting ridiculous. I’ve heard so many horror stories about the lengths parents have gone through to get gifts and money for their newlywed children, and it makes me sick.

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Where Is I Hate Weddings?

I’m Not Alone

I love your website and am e-mailing expressly to nag you to update it. I am currently enduring the trials of being a maid of honour complete with verbal lashings for forgetting to bring my dressy shoes to a fitting, as well as liaising between the bride and her ex-boyfriend who she is not 100% over. I find it an enormous comfort to know that I am not alone in my frustration over the gradual loss of all my friends as they all contract a hideous case of Hepatitis M, leaving me with my one lonely joy – waiting until they all get fat.

Oh dear God! You didn’t get married, did you?!

Signed,

Canadian Spinster

Passive way To Taunt A Bride

I found the most passive aggressive way to annoy a bride. Hold off RSVPing for as long as possible. It’s so simple. Anyone can do it. All you have to do is NOT do something.

RSVP

Not RSVPing is brilliant because it keeps the bride’s family from knowing the final guest count. Not knowing the final guest count keeps the bride from doing a lot of things like ordering favors, paying the caterer, and planning the all important seating chart.

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