wedding – IHateWeddings.com

Stand By wedding guest

We’ve all heard of A list wedding guests . . . the friends and family you definitely have to invite to a wedding. Then you have B list wedding guests, the friends you love and they barely made the cut.

Then you have the C list wedding guests. That would be coworkers and people who get invited very last minute. They wind up at the “freak table.”

Now we all know there is nothing sadder than having empty seats at your wedding. You need your guests who RSVP yes to actually show up.

How do you prevent unsightly empty seats?

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Close To the registry

Bought Close To Registry, Told To Return It

I’m maid of honor at a wedding in two weeks. I organized a $1000 present between the entire bridal party and bought it last week for them.

The registry called the bride and groom, and told them I bought a present off the registry (which was a nicer version of what they wanted). The bride and groom had the audacity of calling me to ask me to return the present, and buy them what they WANTED from the registry.

If I could do it again, I wouldn’t get them anything. And they were the classiest couple before this whole event … it’s really sad.

Signed,

Sad Maid Of Honor

Click For The IHateWeddings.com Reply

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Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy

It’s been a growing trend to hand out “Tissues For Your Tears Of Joy” with the wedding programs at the ceremony. The trend has grown so much that there are directions on the web for making origami tissue packs so that these tissue packages will match your invitation paper.

It’s cocky to presume people are going to be crying tears of joy at your wedding.

Yes, people tend to cry at weddings. But you know what? There is no guarantee they will cry at YOUR wedding.

People often cry at funerals. Not everyone at my funeral will be sad. There will be at least one or two women who will say: “That a-hole deserved it. He made fun of my wedding.”

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Still Talking About Your Wedding

I saw a buddy after he came back from his honeymoon. All his wife could talk about was their wedding. The reception was three hours long. Her play by play recounting of the evening lasted five.

It is an affliction that cripples newlywed women every year. They realize their dream wedding is over and they have nothing left to look forward to in life. Subsequently, they keep talking about their wedding day over and over until someone ends up shooting themselves.

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Cash Bar At The Wedding?

Rule Number 1: If you can’t afford to buy alcohol for your guests, you can’t afford to have 300 people at your wedding.

I don’t care how great the food is. I don’t care if a bridesmaid makes love to me under the dessert trolley. If I’m at your wedding and I’m sober, I’m going to be mad.

My friend Mike Petrillo was marrying his fiancé Noelle. Noelle wanted to have the entire Eastern seaboard at her wedding.

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Wedding Is Off. Party Is On

My friend Michelle called off her wedding 6 weeks before the date of the wedding. Her parents stand to lose $20,000 in deposits that will not be returned. Since they have the hall anyway, the former couple is throwing a “Valentine’s Party” on February 18th. They are inviting guests from the former bride and the former groom’s side of what would have been a family.

Guests are asked to pay $100 dollars per seat to help defray the cost of Michelle’s cold feet.

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I Love Weddings dot com?

10 Things That Would Make Me Love A Wedding

I’m always complaining about how much I Hate Weddings. I haven’t hated every wedding I went to. In fact there were a few I liked quite a bit. In an effort to be positive, I thought I would write a post about the 10 elements of a wedding that would make me love a wedding.

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Best Wedding Of 2018

One of the best weddings I can think of in recent memory was the one I wasn’t invited to. My friend Marc eloped with his girlfriend Pam last fall in Hawaii.

They were planning on having a small wedding in New England but it was spiraling out of control. Marc and Pam were just starting out and were going to pay for the wedding themselves. Despite the fact she wasn’t chipping in, Marc’s mother had a guest list of over 80 people. When asked to cut the list down, Marc’s mom said “that’s as short as I can make it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

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Morals Of IHateweddings.com

The best part about the last version of IHateWeddings.com that my best friend Mike set up for me was readers can leave comments.

I have 200 pages of the best hate mail, death threats, and people saying the meanest things ever. And I love EVERY WORD OF IT.

Some people don’t realize this is a comedy site written by a comedian. So yes I do go over the top sometimes for shock value or a laugh. That’s provoked some strong reactions from the unwitting and the indifferent.

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