Rule Number 1: If you can’t afford to buy alcohol for your guests, you can’t afford to have 300 people at your wedding.
I don’t care how great the food is. I don’t care if a bridesmaid makes love to me under the dessert trolley. If I’m at your wedding and I’m sober, I’m going to be mad.
My friend Mike Petrillo was marrying his fiancé Noelle. Noelle wanted to have the entire Eastern seaboard at her wedding.
My friend Matt is marrying his fiancé MaureEn. Maureen is from Ireland. She already is a citizen of the United States so we don’t have to worry about her using Matt to get a green card. She does well professionally so we don’t have to worry about her using Matt for his money.
In fact, Maureen has things so together, we often wonder why she’s marrying Matt in the first place.
With his fiancé’s family in Ireland, Matt thought the planning process would be hassle free. Then his mother suggested that he hire Irish step dancers to perform at the wedding.
“Does your mother think you are marrying a leprechaun?” Maureen asked afterwards.
Continue reading “Groom’s Mother Enforcing Ethnic Stereotypes”
Let’s face it ladies, if you want him to make it down the aisle, you can’t tell him not to invite his drinking buddies to your wedding.
On the other hand, a boorish testosterone filled guest can ruin a once in a lifetime family event.
So here are some things you can do to keep his surly buddy from doing something obnoxious that ruins your whole wedding.
Continue reading “Tips For Inviting An Unruly Guest”
They say love is better the second time around. But are weddings? Here are some tips for couples who are planning a wedding where someone has been married before.
Second Wedding Tips
Here are some ground rules for people who are marrying someone who has been married before.
Continue reading “Second Wedding Tips”
It could be the most environmentally friendly substitute for throwing rice after a wedding. Or it could be a tragedy waiting to happen.
My friends Bryan and Torrey had their wedding guests wave sparklers at them as they left their wedding reception in lieu of throwing rice, blowing bubbles or ringing bells.
Look at the pictures. The pictures are amazing. The one thing you can’t see in the pictures is that most of the guests holding the sparklers are really drunk. The only day drunk people should be allowed to handle pyrotechnics is on the Fourth Of July.
I kept picturing ala “A Christmas Story” with someone yelling at me “You’ll burn your eye out!”
Is this a perfect photo op or is this a horrific inferno waiting to ruin our lives? My biggest fear was I might set the bride’s veil on fire. While there are many brides I would have loved to have doused with gasoline and set ablaze, my friend Torrey is not one of them.
My other fear was a spark from the sparklers would hit Aunt Ester’s oxygen tank and blow us all to hell. Luckily I lived to share the tale with you.
According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, stealing someone’s thunder is to prevent someone from having success or getting attention, praise, etc., by doing or saying whatever that person was planning to do or say.
If you book your wedding within 12 weeks before a wedding which will have a lot of the same guests, you are thunder stealing.
There are at least 5 couples I know who are going to think this article is about them. The truth is it’s about my friend Meredith but this is a common problem that affects lots of people.
Here are some guidelines for booking a wedding date:
With suggestions and help from actual I Hate Weddings.com readers, I have updated our “Signs You Are At A Trashy Wedding” list. This list includes suggestions from friends and I Hate Weddings.com readers.
If there’s something we forgot to add leave a comment and I’ll put it into version 3!
Continue reading “Signs You Are At A Trashy Wedding”
Here is an email from an IHateWeddings.com reader: “What happens when you sacrifice your birthday so your brother can celebrate his anniversary every year on your birthday? I find that a stab in the back.”
We talk about Thunderstealing a lot at IHateWeddings.com. This is the ultimate case of Thunderstealing. This is a moment of Thunderstealing that is a lifetime in the making.
Here is a new IHateWeddings.com rule: You are not allowed to get married on your unmarried siblings’ birthdays. Especially if it looks like your unmarried sibling will never get married. That means for the rest of your life your spinster sister’s special day will be overshadowed by your anniversary.
And don’t pray for your brother to get divorced. Then instead of your birthday and his anniversary being the happiest day of your brother’s life, it will be the worst day of his life.
While your family is singing you “Happy Birthday” they’ll secretly be feeling bad for your divorced brother.
My friend Michelle called off her wedding 6 weeks before the date of the wedding. Her parents stand to lose $20,000 in deposits that will not be returned. Since they have the hall anyway, the former couple is throwing a “Valentine’s Party” on February 18th. They are inviting guests from the former bride and the former groom’s side of what would have been a family.
Guests are asked to pay $100 dollars per seat to help defray the cost of Michelle’s cold feet.
Continue reading “Wedding Is Off. Party Is On”
For young professionals in hard economic times I have created a list of questions you should ask yourself before accepting the honor of becoming someone’s bridesmaids or groomsmen. These hard financial times have given the young and poor among us permission to say “I can’t afford to be your man-slave for six months as you plan your wedding.”
But in all seriousness, when you agree to be in a wedding party there are expectations. If the expectations bother you say no. If you don’t have enough time to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No, thank you I can’t do it.” If you don’t have enough money to live up to the bride and groom’s expectations say “No thank you I can’t do it.”
You won’t be in the pictures the young couple may keep on the mantle. But you’ll save a friendship.